Hi there,
I am posting one of my aurgument essay here ,please let me know in which parts i need to improve.
In the memorandum, the vice president concludes that the company should use Zeta rather than Alpha for construction purpose. The author comes to this conclusion based on two pieces of evidences which are data of building construction cost and comparison of data of energy consumption of those two building.While the author might be correct in their conclusion ,he need to provide following four piece of evidence to substantiate the argument .
First of all,the author need to provide evidence why he mention two building as same type of construction. The scope and validity of the floor plan is not clear .For example ,it is possible that one building may have more windows and doors then the other building ,one building may have more architectural details than the other.The building constructed by zeta may have more architectural beauty than the building constructed by Alpha.We just do not know.In addition,perheps the building constructed at two different location have different labor cost demand according to area. For example,Zeta company’s building is on urban site where labor cost is high and Alpha company’s building on rural site where labors are more costly.Parheps, labor cost varies according to location of construction area.If either of example prove true, then the author contention that Alpha company is best fit for building construction does not hold water.
Second of all,the author need to justify that the less energy consumption of Zeta company’s building is not influenced by location factor and other factors. For example , it is possible that Alpha company’s building has more workers and more electrons equipment then Zeta company’s building .May be Alpha company’s worker has night shift and there is no night shift system in Zeta company’s building .Additionally, Alpha company’s building is half for one year but may not continue of upcoming years. For example, perhaps Alpha company’s building office worker number increases day by day then the maintenance cost will also increase. If it is true that review data of two company’s building are not genuine and result of some external influence then the author’s conclusion is significantly weakened.
To conclude , while it might be true that Zeta’s construction work would provide benefit to the company ,the author presents an incomplete argument that relies more on many assumptions. Thus the author should provide evidence above to increase the persuasiveness of their argument.
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