Looking forward to hear feedback on my essays. Thank You!
Though I am not an expert, but I got a 7.0 in writing in IELTS with a very small preparation. I think your word count should be like 300-350 You can follow Greg’s IELTS writing structure. In the 1st para you have to start with something general discussion regarding the topic. Then you have to rephrase the statement. Next you should start your standings with pertinent examples. Apart from that there are some grammatical mistakes for creating complex sentences. You can practice to develop complex and compound sentences, that will really boost your scores.
GREG’s Lecture:IELTS Classes - GregMat
So there is some grammatical issue? Can you pinpoint those?